Friday, July 31

Good to be back

Hello dear blogger!! I been away from my blog for a little long time. I been busy with work and it took all my time that's why i couldn't find time to make a post. But before i went to sleep last night i told myself i really got to make a post by tomorrow. There's nothing much new stuff happened to me for the past few weeks. I'm getting used of living alone. I had a general cleaning last Sunday on my house before i went to visit my mom, sister and nephew last Monday. They are my nephew Kyle is growing up and so smart in many ways. My sister is busy with her small barbecue business and her and my mom do together. I kind of enjoying the luxury of living alone although there are some things that is hard when living alone like you don't have any help in doing the household chores. But i see it as a good exercise for me.

I been listening to lots of Michael Jackson song this past few weeks. I am kinda sad of what had happened. He is really the great artist and performer in the world. He always give his heart and soul in every songs and concert he performed. And all of his song have a great meaning when it comes to love, relationship and the world we live in. I always think that He do see the world in different way because he always have a child heart in him. It is really a sad thing that he is gone. But i know he is more happy now in a place he is right now. A place he always wanted, a place where he wont be treated like he always have to be perfect. I do wonder it is really hard to be an actress of a performer. Lots of people look at you and judge you even if they didn't know you at all and always want you to be perfect.

I guess i will end this post by now because i got to go back to work and get some work done. Its the end of the month today so i got to email a monthly report to my boss before i get off to work today. So i got to add some more job to my report. I see you all next time!!!! Good Bless and Take care!!

Tuesday, July 7

Trust worthy

Oh! i really don't feel good today. I guess because of the decision i made yesterday. I decided to do something that will hurt and did hurt someone who is close to me. As everyone of you or maybe some of you know the girlfriend of my decease brother do live with me. But yesterday i decided to ditch her out of my house. I did this because its been a week already that she didn't sleep at my house. I thought she just enjoy sleeping over to her friends house, which is the reason she tell me when she didn't come home at night. But last Sunday when she was away again one of my neighbor ask me how i am being alone at my house. I said i am OK and that my brother girlfriend will come home soon and that she is just enjoying sleeping over to her friends house. My neighbor then said oh i thought she is already living with another guy. She said she heard it from her daughter is a close friend of my brother's girlfriend. So i ask some of her friends they one said yes and another one said no and that the guy is just her new boyfriend. Although it OK for me since my brother already pass away. But the thought of her not telling me and finding it out by other people is really made me feel so upset. and made me feel like she is just using me. In a way that my place will be her alternative home if ever her relationship with that guy will not work.I want to talk to her yesterday but she didn't come home again. Recently she do come home when she know that i will be at work and will stay home use my shower and cook my food and get some of her clothes and just left. She been doing that for a week already, well she did always do that she go eat and take a shower and go out get drunk, but she do come home at night even if she is too drunk already. In someway i know its my fault because i was quiet some of the bad thing she been doing. One of my friend said she become like that because i am to soft on her and i just let her do those stuff. So now she is making it worst and she think even if she just make my house as an alternative, that i wont mind it. Thing is i really don't like that kind of set up and i don't think i can live with that kind of set up. So yesterday i been thinking about what to do. I felt i had enough of all of this craft. I am tired of waiting for her every night and guessing if she will come home or not. I just wish she told me if she really don't want to live with me anymore. I will be OK with that, I don't want my house to be one of her alternative that's why i decided to do this. I know when i go to work last Monday she sure be coming home and will spend her day there while I'm at work. She will use my computer, eat my food and blah blah blah then when she will leave again later in the afternoon. So i decided to lock my room and took all her clothes out. And made a letter from her and told her that i took her clothes out because she will just get a shower and get some clothes and that I'm tired of that thing she been doing. And told her that i know that she been living with this guy and that i don't want my house to be her alternative. And guess what! I am right she did went home right after i left and one of her friend said she was surprise about the letter i left for her and that she took all of her stuff and left me a letter too. I read the letter when i got home. She said its not true that she is living with a new guy. And she said it is just her boyfriend. And she apologize about everything and she said if ever she will going to live with her new boyfriend she will going to tell me. I don't know what to believe now. I honestly not trusting her anymore.
Right now i do feel a little guilt throwing her out of my house. My best friend told me i did made a good decision and that she is not worthy of my trust anymore because she hide things from me already. And that she is just using me. My best friend also told me that i shouldn't be worry about her because she is a grown up woman already and that she will be OK. Well i hope that she will be OK.
On the good side though, I am excited because i will be meeting one of my friend tomorrow. He live in United States but he was going to visit the Philippines and that he will be arriving tomorrow. We been friends for so long already. I did met him online chat room ( gez! i already forgot what chat room that was) and every time he come visit here he will always make a date to see me and have a lunch or dinner and patch up things. Although we always chat online on Yahoo messenger it still a good thing to see him in person again and just hang out. Plus I'm sure he had a gift for me. And it is usually a gadget type of stuff. I'm a gadget diva so I'm am really looking forward of meeting him and looking forward of seeing what is his gift for me.