Tuesday, May 12

I love you MOM!!!!

When i was small i am really close to my dad than to my mom. I guess i am closer to my dad because he was the one who is always home and not my mom which was a usual thing in a usual family. When my dad got sick and always failed to get a job because he always cant pass a medical exam. My mom decided to be the one to work. That's why as i grow i get close more to my dad than to my mom because she is not always home. And as i grow up and become a teenager. Its my dad who is always there not my mom. When a parent is needed at school its my dad who go not my mom. I know its unusual. Dad suppose to be the one to work and My mom suppose to be the one at home and guiding us. And yeah i admit i do always get upset to my mom before because she is not a usual mom that i see on t.v or on like what my friend's mom do. She always yelled and get mad when shes home. I do really had a hard time connecting to my mom before. I'm always afraid of her. But i know she is like that, because work is really stressful. Plus with all the financial problem that shes dealing with. But even if its like that. I guess i still grow up as a good person who fear god. My dad teach me a lot of things a lady must have. And he always advice with lots of things. That i always kept in my memory and practicing until now. My dad teach me how to cook,wash my clothes, sew my own clothes and a lot more that a mom might teach her daughter. My dad is a strict one. He always advice me how a mature lady have to act. I guess that's one reason why i don't have a boyfriend until i turn 19. But even if i grow up in my dad guidance I will always love my mom. In fact i admire her. Because she have the courage to be the who to do something to provide for us when dad really cant do anything about it anymore. She took the duty of being the provider of my family. And when my dad die when i was turning 18 years old. She took all the duty of being a mom and a dad. I see her work and at the same time guide us as we grow more. I saw her get sick because of to much work. That's the time where i stop my college and decided to help her. She really don't like it but i did insist. I realize it is a best thing to do. She always get sick and the doctor said she is having fatigue because of to much work. I don't want to lose my mom too at that time. I had ask her to stop working and let me be the one to work. I let her enjoy life until now. I bring her to lots of restaurant and buy thing that i know she wish to have but cannot buy because she choice to buy food for us. And like other people say. " You will only know it if you step on there shoes". So now that I'm the provider of our family. I understand her more. I now understand how hard it is to become a provider. How hard it is to budget I'm glad i am still single and not like her who at that time have 3 kids to worry about everyday. We become more close now. I guess because we always talk about a lot more things unlike before. And i can feel now how sweet mom she can be. She always cook for me and wont let me wash my clothes most of the time. I just let her because i know she really want act as a mom. I do appreciate everything that my mom did for me. I know she do sacrifice a lot just for us. And i know she always love us no matter what. I did saw how sad she was when my brother die. I know she do miss my brother. I'm glad she is kinda recovering from what had happened. I know she wont forget my brother and she will still cry every time she remember my brother. I only pray to god that she will always have a good health and I will always love her. And even if i didn't grow up by her guidance She will always be the BEST MOM for me.


Saturday, May 9

How wild can it be

When i was on my way to becoming a lady that i am now. There is this movie which i forgot the title now. That really strike out on me. Its a story about a girls so is a very innocent in everything. She always try to do the good thing because she is scared to make mistake that will make her parent mad at her. She always do the right thing. Which makes her a so called perfect daughter. But as she grow and become a lady. She get to the reality that there's no such thing as perfect. And that the world is full of heartaches and pain. I told you about this because i felt that it is also my story. I grow up to be the perfect daughter. I always need to do the the right thing. I always need to be the good one. But as i grow up and mature i found out that the world is not always the good thing. And sometimes we go to make a decision that is really wrong to other people. And what ever you do there's always people who will judge you. At my age now i admit to be in so many relationship. Which i didn't regret to have because with all of the failed relationship i had but it help me learn a lot and i guess it did help me mature a lot and that the reason why i have a 3 years long distance relationship. Before i thought life is like waking up and doing household chores. My world just revolve inside my house But when heartache first strike on me and give disappointment to my family. My world just suddenly tumble down. And it took me 6 months of depression for me to realize that life is not as easy as like that. And because of that lets say i consider as a first big mistake i made in my life i become rebellious about life and love. At that time i really hate the world. I been to bad friends and people and i started to drink go out and just have fun. I don't care of my mom is worry about me late at night. I admit i did a lot more mistake on that rebellious stage of my life. I always say on what the heck i will do what i want. I don't care what other people say. I didn't realize that by doing this I'm not just hurting parent I'm destroying and hurting myself in return too. I'm thankful i still get to a time where i realize what I'm doing is wrong and that it wasn't too late for me to get back on track again.

Now when i try to look back and remember that movie again. I told myself that i guess its really meant for me to had a chance to watch that movie. And i do also love the song that they use on that movie. The "wildflower" by Skylark. I always have a copy of that song in my Mp3 and Cd's too. The smooth beat of the drums the playing of the guitar and the voice of the singer really give you the good medley for a good music listening. Plus i really get to the lyrics. Because for me that is how you got to treat a lady. Always be gentle and let her grow so that she will be ready when he come out to the world.


Thursday, May 7

Flu Strike back

Oh my I have a flu since yesterday. I try to go to work today because i didn't went to work yesterday. I did get bored yesterday so i decided to go to work yesterday. I thought earlier that i will get bored again just like yesterday. It was raining this morning. There a new typhoon coming it will be the third typhoon for this month. My mom was kinda worry about me going to work because she don't want me to get wet. She worry my flu will get worst. But lucky it didn't rain when i went out and walk through the car terminal. And i got a good ride on the favorite van at the terminal. This van is my favorite because the color is red which is the color i want if i have a car. And the driver is friendly and he drive fast and sharp. Plus he always have a RNB music on his stereo. It was my third time to ride on my favorite car. And i always enjoy the ride.
Hope i will get better soon. I don't like it when I'm sick. The body ache and headache is really annoying. Plus its cost money to get sick. And my mom get so worry about my health. She worry so much when i get since and my sister get sick since my brother die. He kept on asking me to buy a vitamins since i always out. Even my fiance is worry he said i always get sick. And i should make a time to go to doctor for a check up. I told him i guess i always get sick because I'm always out unlike before. I get close with pollution all the time. But i guess i really need some vitamins now. I know I'm not getting any younger anymore. I'm like a used car that need some maintenance. And with the swine flu and influenza A that's always on the news i need to always be careful with my health.
Our world is really changing now. Summer season ended so quick. Our weather is getting too confusing. With 3 typhoon already in just a month. When it suppose to still be summer. I guess we really need to be careful with everything that we do. And always have some precaution.